Saturday, August 10, 2013

5 Movies That Will Make You NOT Want To Have Kids...

This blog post contains major spoilers!

Last weekend, I watched a British horror movie called "The Children". Middle class children become homicidal maniacs, turning on their parents, possibly due to some kind of virus. Firstly, the kids are annoying even before they start killing the family pet and then their parents. And then when they go 'postal', holy crap, pure evil. This movie will make you not want children...and here are four more that are a form of visual birth control.


Village of the Damned
1. They could be mutant alien children that are smarter than you and psychic and will probably kill you with their brains and take over the planet. And their eyes glow. And they are incredibly tidy and wear matching outfits.









The Bad Seed
2. They could be a sociopath and kill three people. And be incredibly tidy and wear their hair in braids. This movie scared my dad so much as a kid he ran all the way home from the movies because it was raining and he was afraid he'd get hit by lightning...just like in the movie.






Ils (Them)
3. They could be part of a feral gang that just wants to 'play' with you...aka kill you.
This was apparently based on actual events.









Orphan
4. The 9 year old child you adopt could end being a 33 year old Estonian woman who has murdered 7 people before escaping from a mental institute. And they're incredibly tidy and wears her hair in pig tails...I see a theme.







Or they could end up being like Veruca Salt...

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Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Kick-Ass and Whip It!

Strangely, I only just saw both these movies this last weekend...strangely, because they are both movies that friends had recommended I watch because they thought I'd like them, and it took me forever to actually see them. And my friends were right I did like both of them...very much.

First up...
Kick-Ass
This movie isn't even really about Kick-Ass, it's about Hit Girl. Kick-Ass doesn't really become a 'super hero' until the end of the movie when he hooks up with Hit Girl to avenge Big Daddy's death. Hit Girl has all the best scenes and all the best moves and of course, all the best lines. She's a much more interesting character than Kick-Ass and you want to know more about her. You pretty much know everything about Kick-Ass.

Next up...
Whip It!
Whip It is Drew Barrymore's directorial debut, I hope she directs some more films because this movie was a fun romp about how roller derby helps a teenage girl find herself. Ellen Page as Bliss is excellent as usual and is no way like Juno, though there is one line of dialogue where she sounded just like Juno. Bliss is less conifident than Juno and is trying to please her mother by being in beauty pageants. But Bliss lies about her age and joins a all women roller derby team of losers, though of course quirky characters. The casting was perfect. The soundtrack is awesome. And now I really want some roller skates!

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